The Vampire family might be scary, but they're nothing compared with phone company internet. When the matriarch demands that her husband stop playing his online game and tell their children to get off of their video calls so that she can have the bandwidth to work, he resists, stating that he's the cool dad. What does that make her? "...The also-cool mom," of course. Spectrum says that, unlike its telecom competitors, its internet service is "crazy fast."